But sometimes, behind that calm exterior, one partner feels controlled, unheard, or constantly walking on eggshells. This is emotional abuse—and yes, men can experience it too.

At The Mind Veda, we’ve supported many individuals who didn’t realise they were being emotionally hurt until they finally spoke about it. In several cases, the person on the receiving end was a man—confused, emotionally drained, and unsure if what he was going through even counted as abuse.

What Emotional Abuse Looks Like for Men

Emotional abuse isn’t always loud. It doesn’t always involve shouting, insults, or visible aggression. Sometimes it’s silent and slow—like a plant being kept in the dark.

In one of the cases we dealt with, a man shared how his partner constantly criticised his choices—from what he wore to how he spoke. If he disagreed, she’d sulk or threaten to leave. Over time, he began changing himself, not out of growth, but out of fear.

In another case, a man described how every time he wanted to spend time with his friends or family, his partner would guilt him into staying home. He was told that wanting space meant he didn’t love her enough. Eventually, he cut off those relationships to “keep peace.”

These patterns may not leave physical marks, but they deeply affect a person’s confidence, peace of mind, and emotional well-being.

Silent Behaviours That Are Not Okay

Some behaviours in relationships are brushed off as “normal” or “just the way couples are,” but they may be signs of emotional harm:

• Constantly checking your phone or questioning your privacy
• Making fun of you in front of others under the name of "jokes"
• Controlling your time, who you meet, or what you wear
• Using silent treatment to punish or control
• Threatening to harm themselves if you don’t agree
• Turning things around so you always end up apologising
• Making you feel guilty for having boundaries or needing space

Individually, these may seem small. But over time, they build a pattern of control and manipulation that can leave a person feeling stuck and helpless.

The Mental Health Impact on Men

Many men who face emotional abuse experience:

• Low self-worth
• Anxiety or constant nervousness
• Overthinking and second-guessing themselves
• Emotional exhaustion
• Depression or feeling emotionally numb
• Isolation from friends and family

What makes this more difficult is that men often don’t speak up. Not because they don’t want to—but because they fear being judged, not believed, or seen as “less masculine.”

At The Mind Veda, we’ve seen this silence hurt more than the abuse itself. Talking is not a weakness—it’s a release. It’s the beginning of healing.

Why Men Don’t Share

Many men we work with say they stayed quiet because:

• “No one will take me seriously.”
• “People will laugh or say I’m being dramatic.”
• “I didn’t know this was abuse. I thought relationships are supposed to be hard.”
• “I thought it was my fault. That I was too sensitive.”

Society often expects men to “take it” or “be strong,” making it harder for them to identify or admit emotional pain. But strength doesn’t lie in silence—it lies in healing and growth.

Simple, Non-Burdensome Self-Help Techniques

If you’re someone going through something similar, know that you’re not alone. Here are some easy, non-demanding steps to begin helping yourself—things that feel natural and not like “one more task.”

1. Take Quiet Time for Yourself

Even 10–15 minutes a day of sitting with yourself, taking a walk, or listening to music can help you reconnect with how you feel—outside the relationship.

Example: A man once shared how stepping out for a short evening walk daily helped him feel like he had something that was just his.

2. Name the Behaviour, Not Yourself

Instead of saying “I’m weak” or “I’m the problem,” try saying:
“She blames me for things I didn’t do.”
“She controls who I talk to.”
Naming the behaviour helps you separate it from your identity.

3. Set Boundaries Gently

You don’t have to shout or fight to set boundaries. A calm “I need time to think” or “I’ll reply later” is a start.

Example: One client started by putting his phone on silent for an hour in the evening to unwind, despite his partner’s resistance. Over time, this helped him feel more in control.

4. Know That Their Behaviour Is Not Your Reflection

When someone treats you poorly, it’s often more about their unresolved issues than your worth.

Try reminding yourself:
"Her anger doesn’t mean I did something wrong."
"Her silence is not my responsibility."

5. Reconnect With Your People

Start reconnecting with a friend, cousin, or mentor. You don’t have to share everything. Just talking about everyday things can remind you of who you were before things got heavy.

6. See a Therapist Who Gets It

You don’t need to have everything figured out before you start therapy. At The Mind Veda, we offer one-on-one confidential sessions where you can simply talk—without judgment, labels, or pressure. We’ve helped many men untangle what they’re going through and find clarity.

7. Practice Small Acts of Self-Respect

Wear what makes you feel good. Cook your favourite meal. Choose a movie without asking. These little acts rebuild lost self-trust.

Emotional abuse is not always loud. Sometimes, it’s the quiet erosion of your peace, the slow loss of joy, and the shrinking of who you are.

If you’ve ever felt confused, small, or constantly blamed in your relationship—it’s okay to ask: “Is this love or control?” Love doesn’t make you feel unsafe. Love doesn’t make you feel like you have to erase parts of yourself to be accepted.

At The Mind Veda, we’re here to remind you that your emotions are valid, your experiences matter, and support is available—without shame or judgment.

You don’t have to cope quietly anymore. Healing starts with simply knowing that this—what you’re feeling—is real.