Have you ever typed a message, deleted it, and typed it again? And after a few trials like this, you put your phone down and told yourself that you'd reply later?

Or have you ever had something useful to say in a meeting, rehearsed it, and still let the moment pass? And then, on your way home, replayed the whole thing inside your head thinking whether you sounded too stupid, or whether your voice trembled?

If these sounded familiar, well, it’s not shyness that’s got you! It’s something that runs even deeper. You could have social anxiety disorder, a condition that's far more common than most people realise, and far more treatable than it feels when you're stuck in it.

What Is Social Anxiety Disorder?

Social anxiety disorder, also known as ‘social phobia,’ is a condition where social situations trigger an intense fear of getting judged, embarrassed or rejected. While this might sound futile to some, the fear is so strong that you either avoid those situations or get through them in real distress.

But don’t worry. This isn't a character flaw! However, if you want to get out of this, being more confident might not work out for you.

Social Anxiety Disorder vs Shyness: The Basic Differences

Almost all of us feel nervous before a presentation, a meeting, or even a first date! But, what separates nervousness from social phobia is how much the fear costs you.

Introversion is entirely a separate thing altogether. Introverted people do feel comfortable alone, but it's not necessary that they would be afraid of being around people.

Common Signs and Symptoms

Social anxiety is like that slow poison that creeps up in your thoughts, and your behaviour. So, let’s look at the signs and symptoms that people with social phobia usually go through—

Thoughts and feelings

• Dreading an event for days or weeks beforehand

• Replaying conversations afterwards

• Fearing others will spot that you're nervous

In the body

• Racing heart, sweating, blushing

• Trembling or a shaky voice

• Nausea or dizziness

In behaviour

• Skipping meetings, calls or gatherings

• Staying quiet so no one notices you

• Needing a friend around to speak for you

• Leaning on alcohol to get through the evening

What Causes It?

Social anxiety disorder usually happens due to a mix of the following causes—

• Family history: It might run in your family.

• Painful experiences: Bullying, teasing or humiliation in childhood might play a huge role.

• Sensitivity: If you’re sensitive, you may feel criticism more sharply than others.

• New demands: A new job, a new city or a big presentation can set it off for the first time.

The symptoms generally show up during the teenage years. In India, societal pressures like comparison with cousins, rank-and-percentile culture and the O.G “log kya kahenge/ sochenge” are what keeps the social fear alive. Because when your worth is measured in public, being watched starts to feel dangerous. 

Where Social Anxiety Hides in Everyday Life

Well, social anxiety isn’t something that only shows up at parties. It quietly affects you during—

• Campus placements and job interviews

• Office meetings and presentations

• Family functions where everyone has opinions about your life

• Phone calls, or ordering at a restaurant

• Dates, and meetups

What’s the Best Way to Treat Social Anxiety Disorder?

If you’re someone suffering from social phobia, don’t worry. You’re definitely not alone in this, and there’s always hope for a better tomorrow!

Now, the good news is that this condition is treatable. So, if you really feel the need to reach out for help, a medical expert or a qualified psychotherapist are the best professionals out there.

That said, some of the best ways to treat this condition are—

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): It helps you analyse those negative thoughts and test them against reality.

• Gradual exposure: It helps you to face feared situations in small steps. Greeting a colleague comes first, a coffee together later.

• Mindfulness and breathing skills: It helps you calm down your mind and body while practising.

• Medication: If social phobia has got the better of you, mild medications might be prescribed by a psychiatrist. However, this usually goes alongside therapy.

Important Note: No matter how well you justify it, but, avoidance is actually a trap! It might make you feel relieved, but it also teaches your brain that the situation was dangerous. This causes the fear to grow.

5 Things You Should Try Today

1. Catch the train of thought. Write down what you fear the most. Then ask yourself of the evidence you actually have. 2. Learn to look outward. Self- listening is quite a skill. But, you also have to listen to what the other person has to say. 3. Slow down your breath. Breathe in to the count of five, and breathe out to the count of six before you walk into any social event. 4.Build a ladder. Rank situations from 1 to 10 and start with a 3. 5. Go easy on caffeine before big events.

These 5 things are definitely going to help. But remember, that these practices won’t be able to replace your anxiety. Rather, these would support the treatment process.

When Should You Consult a Professional?

If you’re suffering from severe social anxiety disorder, and check all the boxes below, you should reach out and seek help from a professional right away—

• You avoid things you want or need to do

• Work, studies or relationships are suffering

• You use alcohol or other substances to cope

• You feel low or hopeless

At Mind Veda, our team, including RCI-registered psychologists, uses approaches like Rorschach Inkblot, Thematic Apperception Test (Adult/ Children), MMPI, MCMI, etc., to assess how counselling fits into recovery.

So, if you ever feel hopeless or think about harming yourself, please don't wait. Book a consultation with us, and help us understand and heal you from within!

FAQs

1. What is social anxiety disorder in simple words?

It is the feeling of an intense fear of being judged or embarrassed during social situations. The fear, sometimes, is strong enough to disrupt daily life. 2. Is social anxiety the same as shyness?

No. Shyness is a mild characteristic trait that eases as you warm up. Social anxiety disorder is a persistent fear that leads to avoidance. 3. At what age does it start?

Social phobia usually starts during those teenage years, roughly from ages 13 to 19. However, a new demand later in life can also trigger the issue.  4. Can it go away on its own?

The symptoms might ease in some people, but the avoidance thing tends to stay around. If it's affecting your life, consider getting professional support. 5. What is the best treatment?

CBT with gradual exposure is the most widely recommended approach. Some people also benefit from medication prescribed by a psychiatrist.