However, festivals also come with expectations—what you should wear, how you should behave, and how much time you should spend with family. For many, these cultural and familial expectations can lead to stress, boundary violations, and even conflict.

Balancing these traditional demands with personal boundaries can be challenging, but it's possible. Let’s explore how family dynamics during festivals can affect mental health and how therapy can help manage this stress.

In India, family is often central to one's life. Festivals provide opportunities for families to reunite, especially when many live in different cities or countries. Traditions are passed down over generations, creating a deep connection to cultural roots. However, the pressure to conform to these traditions can create tension when they don’t align with an individual’s personal beliefs or boundaries.

For example, during Diwali, it's common for families to gather at the eldest member’s house for a series of pujas (prayers), dinners, and rituals. In some households, this could mean that younger family members, especially women, are expected to take on tasks like preparing elaborate meals, cleaning, and hosting guests. While this is rooted in tradition, it can sometimes lead to feelings of resentment or exhaustion, especially for those who already have demanding personal or professional lives.

In modern Indian society, many people are becoming more aware of the importance of setting personal boundaries to protect their mental health. However, family gatherings during festivals can make this difficult. The idea of “family comes first” is often emphasized, leading individuals to feel that their personal boundaries are less important than family obligations. For instance, Ram is not feeling well lately due to a lot of office pressure, but he is still expected to attend family functions. On saying no, he is being taunted and labelled. This inner conflict between respecting his own needs and fulfilling family expectations leaves us emotionally drained.

When personal boundaries are repeatedly ignored or violated, the emotional strain can be significant. Guilt, anxiety, and stress are common emotions experienced during festivals, especially for those who struggle to balance family obligations with their own mental health needs.

In Indian families, there’s often an expectation to put others before oneself, especially during festivals. Whether it’s participating in a lengthy puja or handling kitchen duties, the pressure to conform to traditions is real. For someone like Meera, the guilt of saying no or asking for help can be overwhelming. She might feel like she's letting her family down, even though her exhaustion is a sign that her personal needs are being neglected.

Constantly catering to others’ expectations during festivals without considering your own needs can lead to emotional burnout. This is particularly true in joint families where everyone is expected to participate equally in preparations and celebrations. The emotional toll of trying to keep up with these expectations can leave individuals feeling exhausted and disconnected from the festive spirit.

Therapy is a useful tool for individuals dealing with the stress of balancing traditions and personal boundaries. By working with a therapist, people can gain insights into their emotions and learn how to communicate their boundaries more effectively.

 

1. Identifying Boundaries: Many individuals, especially in close-knit families, struggle to identify their own boundaries. A therapist can help someone to figure out what she is comfortable with and where she needs to draw the line. This can include setting limits on how much time she spends in the kitchen or asking for help from other family members.

2. Communicating Needs Assertively: One of the hardest parts of setting boundaries is communicating them without feeling guilty. In therapy, individuals can learn how to express their needs assertively but kindly.

3. Coping with Guilt and Anxiety: Therapy can also address the guilt and anxiety that come with saying no to family expectations. Through cognitive-behavioral techniques, individuals can challenge their own thought patterns, helping them realize that prioritizing mental health is not a selfish act.

4. Preparing for Difficult Situations: Therapy can equip individuals with coping strategies for handling potential conflicts during festivals. This might include mindfulness practices or stress-relief techniques to manage anxiety or frustration during family gatherings.

In addition to therapy, here are a few practical strategies to help maintain personal boundaries during festivals:

·       Talk to Your Family in Advance: Before the festival begins, have an open conversation with your family about your boundaries.

·       Prioritize Self-Care: It’s important to carve out time for yourself, even during festivals.

·       Compromise: Sometimes a compromise can make everyone happy.

·       Seek Support: If dealing with family expectations feels too overwhelming, consider talking to a therapist before the festival. Having a professional to guide you through setting boundaries and managing emotions can make a big difference.

Festivals are meant to be a time of joy and togetherness, but they can also bring stress when personal boundaries are disregarded. In Indian families, where tradition is deeply rooted, balancing these cultural expectations with your own mental health needs can be difficult. However, with therapy and open communication, it’s possible to navigate these conflicts while still enjoying the spirit of the celebration. By setting clear boundaries and practicing self-care, individuals like Meera and Raj can find a balance between family obligations and personal well-being, making festivals a time of joy rather than stress.