Here are a few things that we might do to sabotage our relationships, without even realizing it.
1. Micro cheating
Micro-cheating is when we almost always keep thinking about someone other than our partner. You might even indicate that you’re interested in them. It may or may not include emotional/ physical cheating.
2. Emotional cheating
Emotional cheating may or may not be followed by micro-cheating. Micro cheating is when we are more emotionally available or vulnerable in ways we are not with our partner. It means investing more time and being more emotionally intimate with someone else.
3. Not taking checking in with your partner before making huge decisions that could impact you both.
This could be about major financial decisions or moving to another city. It can make your partner feel like you don’t consider them as equals or that you don’t value their input and cause a great deal of distress in your relationship.
4. Making jokes about your partner’s insecurities
Intentionally or unintentionally we may say things, even jokingly that could hurt our partner. They could feel disrespected and it may even aggravate their pre-existing insecurities.
5. Expecting your partner to read your mind
Especially after being together for a while, we may start expecting that our partner would know what we think and what we want at all times, and if they don’t then it might mean they love us less, not care for us as much, or that they don’t understand us as well as they should. This unrealistic expectation can cause a rift in your relationship.
6. Harboring resentments and grudges
There might be times when we don’t or are unable to solve our issues and throw them under the rug. This could lead us to hold grudges and feel resentment towards our partner for not meeting our needs, finding solutions that could ensure a win-win situation, or even acknowledging what has happened and its impact. If they keep accumulating without being addressed or resolved, it can have detrimental effects on the quality of the relationship.
7. Lack of communication
Misunderstandings are often caused by a lack of communication or ineffective communication patterns. This could be because of time constraints, lack of mental bandwidth of one or both partners to deal with their issues or not knowing or practicing healthy communication strategies.
8. Job Responsibilities
Different professions require a different amount of effort and the job timings could also be different and or unfavorable. For the ones with demanding jobs, be could be difficult for them to honor their commitment to their partner, spend quality time together, reduce the time duration for reconnection, and so on. This may cause the other partner to feel neglected and unsatisfied with the relationship.
The psychological impact it could have on your partner
One may start blaming themselves for their partner’s actions. They may even start walking on eggshells around their partner to not trigger them, hurt their feelings, or start a fight. They may experience feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. They may also feel as if they are not being valued - not feeling seen, heard, understood, and respected. They could feel that are being neglected, not being cared for, and being taken for granted. All these experiences, especially if are not being addressed or handled effectively can lead to feelings of low self-esteem, and worthlessness and consequently lead to disorders such as anxiety, depression, etc.
*Therapy can help you to deal with issues. If you and your partner are facing such issues, please reach out to us! *